Sunday, March 29, 2009

Read, read, read



Behold my collection of library books. I’ve finished four of them, and have read four of them before, but because I didn’t get all the way through I checked them out again. That leaves me with fourteen to complete (I think? I’m not good at math).

Currently I am in the thick of the book second from the top, Transcending CSS by Andy Clarke, which has so much good stuff that I can never finish it in one borrowing period. It’s fantastic. (If you’re into web design, that is. If not then it would probably be useless.)

So yeah, they say you can tell a lot about a person from what they read, or something like that.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Not Always Right entry

So this is what I submitted to Not Always Right…not totally sure it falls within their guidelines, but it’s one of the more memorable stories I have, not to mention one of the more completely ridiculous ones. (This woman was in her sixties or seventies. GROW UP!)

_

At the restaurant where I worked as a server, we gave customers free cake and balloons on their birthday. One night we didn’t have enough balloons for all the birthdays so only one table got a balloon — albeit a very limp one because we were also low on helium — while another table didn’t. The following ensued at the balloon-less table…

Birthday Woman: I don’t have a balloon. You’re supposed to give me a balloon for my birthday.

Me: I’m sorry, ma’am, we ran out, we don’t have any more.

Birthday Woman (pointing to adjacent table): But THEY have one. Why did they get one?

Me: They reserved their table first —

Woman #2 at Balloon-Less Table: This isn’t right, you’re supposed to give her a balloon. This is so wrong. You’re supposed to give her a balloon for her birthday.

Me: I’m sorry. We don’t have any more.

Birthday Woman: This isn’t right. This just isn’t right. I can’t believe you won’t give me a balloon.

Mad Birthday Woman and her friends stay mad the whole night, even though they get free cake and champagne.

Then when the other table leaves, Birthday Woman goes over to the table, takes their balloon, and brings it back to her table.

It just sits there, barely hovering over the surface. She is smug in her self-satisfaction. I have no words.

_

Thanks for the suggestion, Dani. :D

Kayaking brings back memories

This morning I went kayaking with the Lees, and on our way to the headsprings, Mrs. Lee asked, “what’s that ahead of you?” I saw a covered dock with a sign and some boats inside, so I answered that it was a dock, and she said no, that thing right in front of my kayak — then Jessica congratulated me on pulverizing some poor innocent water creature. I guess I was fixated on everything except for what was right in front of me (which is not too unlike me). So, turtle or bird or whatever you are, or were, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to end your life.

On the aforementioned dock, I also saw an old couple that I used to wait on at the country club. He’s German, tall as a skyscraper and has an accent so thick that even though I served him once a week, I still had trouble deciphering what he said. I remember asking what his member number was. We would go back and forth:

Me: “And your member number?”
Him: “Aaayte-sihh-fwee.”
Me: “Eight sixteen?”
Him: “AAAYTE-SIHH-FWEE.”
Me: “Eighty three?”
Him: “AAAYTE-SIHH-FWEE!
Me: “Eight six three?”

Then he would nod.

Eight six three, the magic number. I eventually got around to memorizing it to save myself the hassle. He and his wife were regulars in a table of eight that came to dine and dance, and they were picky, demanding, cheap tippers. One of the guys in the group thought he (not Eight Six Three man, but this guy himself) was really scary. He would always tell me to tell the chef NOT to put garlic on his mussels marinara, because if the chef did, he would go back in the kitchen and throw the mussels at the chef. He said this every time he ordered the dish. It got old.

Another guy in the group always asked if I had a date afterward, because I was supposedly serving really fast. (I had to hold my tongue because I really wanted to tell him that the whole reason I served him “fast” was so he wouldn’t complain about how long his food was taking or how long it was taking for him to get butter or another roll.) This greasy-haired man routinely ordered his salad with Romaine lettuce only and without dressing, so I would have to custom-make his salad every time, and…well, that sort of thing just gets annoying when the customer fails to realize you have made the salads just before the shift and have to take time out of serving other people to make their salad, thus angering the other customers, and then said custom-salad-orderer leaves you a 10% tip.

How did this just turn into a post about serving? Oh well.

Sunday, March 22, 2009

My novel will finally get finished…

At the risk of sounding corny, I was inspired today after watching City of Ember (which was better than I expected — I’m going to read the book next). A handful of plot ideas wove themselves about my head and finally scattered onto paper, where they will direct the path of the story I’ve been patching up for the past couple of months.

“The story” is the 50,000-word novel that I birthed as the result of NaNoWriMo ’06, when I decided I wanted to get serious about my writing. Ah, what a month that was. I worked and went to school in addition to churning out 1,667 words a day, and because I didn’t plot ahead of time the story veered and jumped and stopped and started and basically didn’t make any sense. After November was over, I breathed a sigh of relief and stored the file in the swamps of my hard drive, convinced I would never look at it again because it was so terrible.

Then this past January, I opened the document — in a hands-over-my-eyes, make-sure-no-one-else-is-around kind of way — and to my surprise it was a lot better than I remembered; the voice, at least, and even some of the plot itself (it was so intriguing, even I didn’t know where it was going…).

It was then that I decided this poor abandoned story actually had some potential and was worthy of saving, polishing, and possibly publishing. The next step was to add to it — hence my newish daily writing routine — but the glitch was that I still didn’t know where things were going, so I wrote scenes that ultimately added very little to the plot and frustrated me to no end. And then today came along. (Today, oh glorious day!)

I guess you could skip all of what I just wrote and read this: the story has a new life and a new direction, and even though I don’t necessarily look forward to rewriting most of the 50,000 words I already put down, I’m excited about how it will turn out.

This quote, which I found on the web site of the author of City of Ember, seems like an appropriate way to wrap things up:

A writer is someone for whom writing is harder than it is for other people.
—Thomas Mann

Saturday, March 21, 2009

This is too good.


Pantone® mugs (and I’m not sure how that link will work because it’s laden with spaces), the truly geeky way to drink your tea/coffee/hot chocolate.

I’m into techno?

I just started listening to And Then There Were None, and I’m really quite addicted. It’s techno/dance music, which I am not a huge fan of, so I am kind of surprised the songs are stuck in my head.

Today was Mom’s birthday; us kids took her out to dinner last night, and tonight decorated the dining room with Happy Birthday signs and photos. Hannah threw together a cake, which we weren’t sure was going to happen because we had barely enough butter (do you know how hard it is to find a cake/brownie recipe that calls for no more than a half-cup of butter?). The frosting was AMAZING. It probably had about five pounds of confectioner’s sugar in it, and cocoa powder and cream cheese, and there was a lot left over that Hannah let us lick from the bowl. I had to tell her to put it somewhere else because I’d morph into a blimp otherwise.

Oh, and the restaurant Dad took Mom to tonight is the same place I went to for my birthday, where the menu is done entirely in Papyrus. The titles, the dish descriptions, the prices, everything. Papyrus bolded, italicized, and underlined. It’s a joke to try and read the thing. Needless to say the menu is headed for the I [heart] Papyrus group…

Friday, March 20, 2009

Snapshot of a Serving Shift

…yay alliteration!

I found this vignette of a day in the life of my server self in one of my writing notebooks, and it brought back a lot of memories. Actually, it may only be interesting to me; if you haven’t worked in a restaurant, you may be bored to tears by the following excerpt. Just warning you.

After reading this again, I realized that there’s a lot I miss (and a lot I don’t miss) about waiting tables. I need to write a post later on about some of the crazy things that have happened at the restaurant, such as an order for kahlua sour, the crazy Caesar salad woman and our customers’ obsession with birthday balloons. But for now, here’s the story…

……………………

The sugar bucket says “Rice” on the side, and even though I’ve worked here for three years, I still forget that it’s sugar. Inside the industrial-sized plastic bucket is a pyramid of sharp clear sugar granules, and there is usually never a scoop. You have to go to the ice machine and steal its scoop. Then you dump the sugar into a container. I’m not really sure how often they use sugar around here. All our desserts are frozen boxed things that come in a semi from Sysco. We pass them off as homemade. If you believe that stuff’s homemade, then you probably believe Bigfoot exists too. Besides a rare in-house dessert, the only other reason sugar might be used here is when an employee wants to turn their unsweet tea into sweet tea without having to rip open fourteen packets of crusty table sugar.

Today I am in charge of setting up the beverage station. I drop a packet of tea into a coffee filter, slide it under the dispenser, and flip the Start button. A stream of tainted water hits the bottom of the silver container. I move to the reach-in for lemon slices and spend five minutes moving salad dressing jars and tubs of mustard looking for last night’s lemons that I know I saran-wrapped. The kitchen must have used them. They always steal our lemons. The door bangs shut and I go to the walk-in for lemons. These are fat yellow ovals, uncut, bruised, still marked with white stickers. I take three and claw my way past the six-foot-high speed racks loaded with tonight’s salads.

Cutting board and knife in hand, I make swift work of the lemons and throw the pieces into a clear container that goes next to the tea pitchers. I deposit the board and knife on the dishroom’s glinting aluminum counter and head back to the server station.

This sidework is mindless, something I could do in my sleep. Grab a purple container of half-and-half. Stock saucers (half of which are dirty, half of which don’t match). Pull at least one rack of coffee cups and water glasses. Later, we will inspect the cups and glasses before we use them, because they usually have a pattern of Maybelline red on the rim. That’s why I always use a straw at restaurants. Disgusting, really.

Tonight is not going to be a regular night. We have VIPs coming in. Chef told me that I’ll be waiting on them — apparently a party of eight from hospital management, all a bunch of bigwigs. Our restaurant gets VIPs about as often as Florida gets snow. Being the senior server, the task of serving said bigwigs falls to me, and even though I’ve done it several times before I always get nervous. My stomach pumps itself into a frenzy, which is stupid, because these people are just people and not even that famous on a large scale, but management wants us to treat them like they are.

Sidework complete, I wrap my apron strings around my waist, tie them in front and hide the bow behind the front of the apron. I check my hair in the reflection of the stainless steel reach-in. My bangs have grown out to my cheekbones and won’t go back into a ponytail. They always fall in my eyes when I’m serving. I push them behind my ears for now, knowing they’ll come loose in about three minutes.

I grab a server’s notepad from the stack next to the computer and head for the hostess stand to get my tables for the night. Dining is by reservation only, so we know who we will have ahead of time (well — usually).

I scan the wrinkled piece of paper that’s been copied five hundred times and find my name. I have the VIP table and five others. It makes me think about how I’m going to treat the VIP table compared to the other tables. The non-VIPers will obviously notice the nicer food and better service the VIP table gets. Chef is even going to make an appearance at the VIP table — not once, but several times, because he wants to brag about (I mean, explain) his dishes. Fancy crab appetizers on the house and Caesar salads after that and then filet mignon followed by a butter rum cake slathered in chocolate from Switzerland. Oh, and the cake is free, because one of the VIPs is having a birthday and we give people free cake on their birthday. (For clarification, the standard free cake is a squat two-layer vanilla confection with puffy white frosting and sprinkles — courtesy of Sysco.) That’s not good enough for these people. I find myself irritated with the special treatment they’re going to get. All I can hope for is a big tip, but with half the meal literally being given to them, I doubt that will happen.

It’s fifteen minutes till opening, and steam rises from the soup pots and bread warmers and potato chambers while cooks and busboys hurry to fill them. The scent of roasting meat and baked bread mingle in the warm kitchen climate. The chefs redden behind the line, pushing their baseball caps up and wiping their foreheads with the back of their sleeves. I’m in black pants and long sleeves and I hate this heat, but I prefer standing in the kitchen to taking a post by the hostess stand, where people come to ask questions about everything not related to the restuarant and the phone rings all the time.

I hate answering the phone.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

My comment box is back…

…or well, I guess it was always there, and Firefox just wouldn't load it. (I wish I hadn't downloaded Safari 4 beta. Practically nothing loads so I have to use Firefox, and it's like driving behind someone who's going five miles under the speed limit. I even tried to revert to Safari 3 [which for some reason checked itself in at 56 gb after the download — what the heck?] but it wouldn't let me.)

Anyway, there are much more interesting things to write about than browser woes…

Or not…

I don't feel creative at all today, so don't expect much from this post. (Not that I think you do, just expect less today.) My novel is staring pitifully at me from the NeoOffice window behind Firefox while I sit here and think about what to add to it, or what to take away. Random superhero shouts are coming from the TV in the next room…one of our cats is perched at the base of an oak tree out front, waiting for a squirrel to descend (I know she won't catch it, she never can)…blue jays are screaming somewhere in the distance…

From del.icio.us today (to sound all newsy and stuff) comes a handy resource: 250+ stain brushes for Photoshop. During my final semester of school we had to make coffee map booklets. Mine had faux coffee stains that I made myself (impressive, I know!). I wish I had known about these brushes then…:P

Monday, March 16, 2009

Friday, March 13, 2009

I hate writing, but I love having written.

I found this article today — really encouraging. I took a screenshot. Maybe it'll be my wallpaper.

I wrote ten agencies about possible job opportunities earlier today. My eyes are about to pop out of my head from staring at the computer screen for so long. My to-do checklist is halfway completed, so I'll be staring for another few hours until I get it all done…

Here's something crazy off my del.icio.us. (I used to be obsessed with the TV show 24.) Each time you reload the page, it turns "I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the longest day of my life" into something along the lines of "I'm Federal Agent Jack Bauer, and this is the most poorly spaghetti hoop of my life." You could waste a lot of time hitting cmd+r.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Ouch.

I ran into a shelf at Walmart tonight. I guess I couldn't judge where the shelf jutted out so my shoulder rammed into it, and now I have two long raised welts on the side of my arm. I didn't even find anything on the aisle I was headed toward. There were just a bunch of ugly shoes.

Sigh.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Yay!

Give a listen to Mat Kearney’s latest single — his new album comes out May 19. I have worn out the Mat Kearney CDs I have, so I’m really looking forward to the release of City of Black & White.

Stuck.

The flu loves me. I've been coughing and sniffling and dizzy and overall tired and weak for the past two weeks, and I'm ready for it to be over. The trees are turning green and the weather's not frigid anymore and I want to do something outside! But instead I stay tucked indoors with a box of tissue and a package of vitamin C drops. This makes the third consecutive month I've had the flu, since it carried over from February, and the third time is not the charm.

I developed a new writing regime for myself, and am quite happy to report that I am now writing six pages a day (more if you count the writing exercises and blogging I am now doing). The only problem is, in my quest for six pages, I end up following bunny trails that lead to weird story developments that don't fit in my plot, so it's a one-step-forward, two-steps-back kind of thing. But at least I have something to edit, which is better than a blank page. It feels good to churn out some words. It would feel better if I was actually excited about them. I guess this means I need to start plotting earlier and doing some research…

Speaking of research, and writing, and not procrastinating, and making a ridiculously long sentence like this one, I downloaded an application called Freedom. It's Mac-only, and I haven't used it yet, but it temporarily disconnects your computer from the internet and thus forces you to work on whatever you're supposed to be working on instead of watching YouTube clips or surfing Facebook. Then you have to restart your computer to get your connection back. Great idea, isn't it? Now if I would actually try it…

Overdue del.ici.ous post
Matmâta, the village in Tunisia otherwise known as Tatooine. (Star Wars geeks unite.)

Random quote on my Dashboard
There is nothing that cannot be achieved by firm imagination.
— Japanese Proverb